Ashes and Sunflowers
by NuclearParadise
Summary: Ivan hates his job, and once again another life is ruined because of him. Can he heal the wounds he has inflicted? Or will he end up lousing things up even more?


Matthew watched his house burn from the hill about 100 yards away. It roared louder than the sounds of the surrounding forest, making it hard to think. A tear dripped down his cheek as he began to cry, why had this happened? Where was his family? How had he possibly survived? He hugged his small stuffed polar bear close, watching as another large piece of rubble fell from the top floor down to the scorched ground. It was hot and bright even this far out, though he felt cold. So cold. Fire was supposed to be warm, though when he knew that his family was out there reduced to burning husks of memories, it felt anything but.

A soft touch on the side of his face brought his attention over to the left of him. A tall man draped in heavy winter clothes stood next to him, staring down at him with deep amethyst eyes. He could see pity in those eyes, but it felt sour. Pity wasn't what he wanted now, it was the last thing he needed. Right now he wanted to be in that fire with the remains of his family so he could die with them. He let out a shaky sigh, leaning over into the coat of his new guardian. Ivan had saved him, and that was the only thing that made this just a small bit better. At least there was something in this world that cared about him.

Ivan bent down and hugged the small boy, a sad frown on both of their faces. He lifted him up into his arms, turning away from the terrible scene. His soul felt empty, such a little child didn't didn't deserve such a horrible change in his life. He held the boy like a newborn child, sheltering him from the cold night air. Ivan lifted one foot in front of the other, feeling as though his legs were made of concrete. It was all his fault. This boy's life wouldn't have been ruined and his family would have been alive if it weren't for him. He sucked in a sharp cold breath and began his trek down the gravel road leading away from the burning house. Another case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ivan hated his profession, but he had to put food on the table and there were no other alternatives. Earlier that week he was given the address to the peaceful Kirkland household, told that the owner hadn't payed certain expenses. Something about illegal business between his boss and Mr. Kirkland. Overdue payments meant you must pay the ultimate price; your and your family's lives. Ivan would be punished for sure, but he couldn't just leave the poor little one to die, then he would lose ever last scrap of humanity he still had.

He looked down at the bundle of blonde hair wrapped in silky clothes safely cradled his arms. The child shivered, though he could guess that he fell asleep. Ivan walked on, the sound of sirens in the distance becoming all to familiar. He turned off of the road and weaved between the trees, making his way back to his home. His boss could wait till tomorrow, today he would see to this boy's safety. All of the colors of the night melded together, beginning to blur as he felt long wet streaks drip down his face. It really wasn't fair. This was justice? No, this was cruel and inhumane.

Just before he planted the explosive, he had taken a second to look at one of the family portraits to say his apologies. They looked so happy, though that happiness wouldn't last forever. The screams, they tore at him, ripping away yet another piece of his humanity. Poor, poor, Matthew, he was only coming down the stairs to get a glass of water. It must be terrible, having to see your family struggle right in front of you and be too helpless to put forth an effort. Ivan couldn't just stand and watch him stare, it would only hurt the both of them more. So he decided to scoop him up and run out while he still could. Even now he wished he could have saved the others, but that would have only brought more pain. His boss would have his head if he saved anyone who would remember later.

Ivan sighed as he reached his house, sending a pained look over at his withering sunflowers. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, nudging his chin into the light switch. The boy in his arms let out a soft whimper and squirmed a little, almost kicking Ivan in the face. He sighed and closed the door behind himself, walking over towards his sofa. Cautiously, Ivan set the blonde down on the soft fabric, positioning him so his head was on his pillow. Ivan didn't really have a need for a bed when he lived alone, he figured that a couch would do just fine. He strode over to the other side of the sofa and picked up his blanket. It was decorated with a beautiful meadow with a bright blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds above. He loved this blanket, it helped him forget and let go of those terrible nights where he would commit terrible crimes for his terrible boss. A gentle smile pulled at his lips at the thought of such joyous dreams that were brought with his blanket. He walked back over to the other end of his sofa and leaned down towards the sleeping child. The Russian carefully set the blanket over him, pulling it snugly up to his head so he would keep warm.

"Доброе утро~" He whispered softly into the blonde's ear, leaning over and planting a small kiss on his forehead like his sister always did when she tucked him in.

Ivan watched the boy with a gentle gaze for a few more minutes, before turning around to face his other furnished chair. His eyelids felt heavy, and his body was achy, though he knew he wouldn't sleep well tonight after such a horrible day. He shook his head, sitting down in it with a short groan. The boy yawned, turning around to face away from Ivan, still fast asleep. He sighed, his body relaxing the slightest bit, he would wait for sleep to come to him this time. Protecting a life for once would be a nice change.

**Translations : "Доброе утро~" = Good night~**

**(sorry for crappy translation I used Google translate :/)**

**I don't own anything!**


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